i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize