Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize