that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize