I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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