11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This is the high leading the old right now
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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