I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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