My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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