she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize