Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up

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  (203): it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up http://tfl.nu/co6p
  Replies (64) Good night (514) Bad night (3473) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me

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  (913): My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me http://tfl.nu/wgqk
  Replies (9) Good night (1572) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.

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  (509): I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo. http://tfl.nu/veuj
  Replies (16) Good night (4564) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?

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  (720): have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing? http://tfl.nu/o8yl
  Replies (51) Good night (4430) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?

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  (901): How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games? http://tfl.nu/94zu
  Replies (14) Good night (4186) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.

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  (215): its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass. http://tfl.nu/z2s4
  Replies (17) Good night (650) Bad night (5676) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.

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  (205): Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am. http://tfl.nu/dyri
  Replies (6) Good night (1819) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.

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  (419): Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed. http://tfl.nu/x4xs
  Replies (4) Good night (1548) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.

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  (650): That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in. http://tfl.nu/qyvf
  Replies (9) Good night (2211) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.

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  (435): Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed. http://tfl.nu/zk8r
  Replies (29) Good night (5704) Bad night (1032)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air

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  (801): Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air http://tfl.nu/f3ea
  Replies (5) Good night (819) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!

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  (571): Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?! http://tfl.nu/2zl4
  Replies (5) Good night (1650) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?

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  (773): Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school? http://tfl.nu/w1lv
  Replies (13) Good night (342) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I feel like you just railed me after that sext

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  (216): I feel like you just railed me after that sext http://tfl.nu/hgfe
  Replies (8) Good night (1149) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.

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  (813): My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester. http://tfl.nu/4ngv
  Replies (1) Good night (934) Bad night (165)

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