he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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