You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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