i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
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Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize