just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
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So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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