Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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