the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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