We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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