he puts the penis in happiness.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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