it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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