remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize