i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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