found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize