What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
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Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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