Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize