I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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