Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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