I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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