Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize