i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize