I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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