dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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