Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
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the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
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My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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