Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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