Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize