im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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