How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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