Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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