we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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