My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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