i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize