Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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