Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
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I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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