Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is it because I queefed?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize