there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
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also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
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Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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