Say something about gay babies.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
we should paint friendship bongs
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