Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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