you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize