He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize