I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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