My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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