Do you still have your period?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My life is pants optional.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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